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Monday, October 25, 2004 hello. yesterday was a tiring day for me. played too much and the weather at night was too good to turn down the chance to jog in the rain. relaxing and you can really think about things. oh well. too bad i dont have a jogging partner. sometimes it can really get boring.anyway. after friday, i hoped that things could only get better on monday. and today, things were really much better. had better results and finally some sick feeling i cant explain is gone after i collected all my results. call it some kind of freedom or what.but it sure feels good.anyway during the free periods.i was listening to jay chou on my mp3. my sister forced me to put it in my mp3. it really isnt as bad as i always said it to be. slow kinda music. anyway.i was thinking back during my lower sec days. when i would sometimes just happen to pass by my seniors classes. walking past. looking in. all the faces were so mature.so old.they gave me this awed feeling. i really could say 'this are really victorians, controlled, hardworking, focussed, determined, the never-say-die spirit and this overall sense that makes you look up to them and makes you want to be like them, to go on in life to succeed in what we choose to go for and still be able to enjoy life.' all the stories i heard from my seniors about their time in vs, really surpasses what we the current batch of victorians have and my seniors still always did well in examinations. And now i look at my batch. people passing 1 subject., people only passing 2 subjects. and even though many people get to sec4 with a pass rate of 3. We really should be disgraced. We cannot do this. We can do better. Looking back at my seniors, compare them with me, i really feel shameful. Do my juniors look to me with such admiration and respect that i had for my seniors years back? Do they? I dont think so. we are really destroying this school that so many victorians believe including yourself and we want this school to excel but we just somehow dont seem to be able to do so.Why? i can be sad,depressed when i look at the state of my school and im not doing anything about it even though im a leader.but thats another story. im really trying to withdraw myself from any leadership positions so i can slack, believing that the leaders now are useless(which is true compared to the past leaders), but deep down i know that i should be in the camp during the hols. pushing my ideas towards the rest of the leaders about working hard, being focussed and all. Changing the opinions of the victorians about the leaders is something i always want to do. but i never tried believe it would be to hard for me. I believe that working hard and all doesnt straight away produce results but at least we know that we are on the right track. the track that would bring us all up where we belong. we dont need the courses such as learning styles or the other useless courses. we hate courses. we dont need this courses to work hard and do better. we ourselves know what we need and we just need the motivation and the ability to focus. and this cant be brought about by courses. no way. i really feel so shameful. so shameful.about the way i am. Im not a victorian. not a victorian that can be proud because i havent done anything but to push the school down. not pushing my friends to study. i want them to study sometimes i can even wish that they do badly so that they will get burnt and learn a lesson and probably start studying when they realise that the state they are in is so very grave. we are failures. we are also failures in our character. yes we are generally nice people with friendly hearts. but recently i realise that we are so gossipy and we are critical of one another. its okay to be critical. but theres always a limit. theres no need to lose a friendship for a reasons like that. people get so hurt, so apprehensive, so afraid to do the wrong thing even though its second nature to them but they think twice because of the fear of being struck down by their friends. my goodness. have we become so girlish, so backstabbing????? why why why cant we just accept people for who they are. judge them objectively. lay down their qualities and think carefully. does a smoker mean that he is a bastard who likes to beat people up. does a smoker mean that he like to rape girls or women for the matter? does smoking make him a devil even though he loves young children, he protects women, he respects their body, he helps old ladies across the road when ever he sees one??does that make him a devil! think. i mean. yes we all have our own character traits that irritate the hell out of people, but we do have a good character traits. therefore why must we shun someone because of his one character trait while we do know that he is someone who is caring, concerning, always tries to help but we push him away, always tries to treat people even though sometimes we dont appreciate it. but think carefully, he really does have a good heart at mind and not always trying to be a arrogant person. we too are bastards in our own ways and im a good example. i sometimes break promises, lie to avoid my friends. so whats the difference between me and him. anyway. yeah. we really have to accept people for they are. for their actions that are second nature or instinct to them. cause we ourselves are also filled with flaws and if we continue to carry this spite or critical assessement of people, we will be more focussed on the negative side of people. how good can that be? And we will also be affected by our own critical nature because we are sometimes so stuck on this matters that we completely lose control for a moment and this will make us lose focus on the more important things at hand. OKAY. enough has been said. all from a day of walking in orchard. a day in school. a fun day with my friends. and cheers to a new year ahead when we are the seniors of the school where we must make people look up to us in awe and respect just like what i had for my seniors. |
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Charles You never know whats going to hit you About me Victoria School Friends harryKK sexsirenzhao jeshri ruth trili jafnie andrea fiona cassidy syen yuin hakeem xuanyi shirley wan emeline raj candice shirley j-wei dennis najid jiezhen Doodleboard < |
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Reinventing Your Exit
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The Beautiful Mistake |