*
*
*
*
*
*
*
|
Wednesday, October 27, 2004 hello boys.im not going to school tomorrow. going to be sick.anyway. today was pretty fine just that mason didnt turn up. made my day a wee bit less interesting. had initially planned to go to town to eat. but mason spoilt our plans and the weather was terrible. hot wet hot. so damn humid. anyway, i've been listening to jay chou. take it as an attempt to improve my failing chinese grades and his music really pretty nice.oh well.okay set. just had my dinner. my mom said i dont need to go to school but i need to go for my dental in the morning. anyway. damn , the cm4 disc cant be read by my cd drive. now i have to continue using southampton.. did i tell you. last sunday. i came back from soccer. i rubbed my stomach and i had a big stomach so i decided to jog. after jogging about 4 min i was close to the mrt. and my pee was halfway and about to come out from my weenie.so i ran to the mrt toilet to piss.anyway. after i pissed. i rubbed my stomach. and i had no stomach. okay bye! Monday, October 25, 2004 hello. yesterday was a tiring day for me. played too much and the weather at night was too good to turn down the chance to jog in the rain. relaxing and you can really think about things. oh well. too bad i dont have a jogging partner. sometimes it can really get boring.anyway. after friday, i hoped that things could only get better on monday. and today, things were really much better. had better results and finally some sick feeling i cant explain is gone after i collected all my results. call it some kind of freedom or what.but it sure feels good.anyway during the free periods.i was listening to jay chou on my mp3. my sister forced me to put it in my mp3. it really isnt as bad as i always said it to be. slow kinda music. anyway.i was thinking back during my lower sec days. when i would sometimes just happen to pass by my seniors classes. walking past. looking in. all the faces were so mature.so old.they gave me this awed feeling. i really could say 'this are really victorians, controlled, hardworking, focussed, determined, the never-say-die spirit and this overall sense that makes you look up to them and makes you want to be like them, to go on in life to succeed in what we choose to go for and still be able to enjoy life.' all the stories i heard from my seniors about their time in vs, really surpasses what we the current batch of victorians have and my seniors still always did well in examinations. And now i look at my batch. people passing 1 subject., people only passing 2 subjects. and even though many people get to sec4 with a pass rate of 3. We really should be disgraced. We cannot do this. We can do better. Looking back at my seniors, compare them with me, i really feel shameful. Do my juniors look to me with such admiration and respect that i had for my seniors years back? Do they? I dont think so. we are really destroying this school that so many victorians believe including yourself and we want this school to excel but we just somehow dont seem to be able to do so.Why? i can be sad,depressed when i look at the state of my school and im not doing anything about it even though im a leader.but thats another story. im really trying to withdraw myself from any leadership positions so i can slack, believing that the leaders now are useless(which is true compared to the past leaders), but deep down i know that i should be in the camp during the hols. pushing my ideas towards the rest of the leaders about working hard, being focussed and all. Changing the opinions of the victorians about the leaders is something i always want to do. but i never tried believe it would be to hard for me. I believe that working hard and all doesnt straight away produce results but at least we know that we are on the right track. the track that would bring us all up where we belong. we dont need the courses such as learning styles or the other useless courses. we hate courses. we dont need this courses to work hard and do better. we ourselves know what we need and we just need the motivation and the ability to focus. and this cant be brought about by courses. no way. i really feel so shameful. so shameful.about the way i am. Im not a victorian. not a victorian that can be proud because i havent done anything but to push the school down. not pushing my friends to study. i want them to study sometimes i can even wish that they do badly so that they will get burnt and learn a lesson and probably start studying when they realise that the state they are in is so very grave. we are failures. we are also failures in our character. yes we are generally nice people with friendly hearts. but recently i realise that we are so gossipy and we are critical of one another. its okay to be critical. but theres always a limit. theres no need to lose a friendship for a reasons like that. people get so hurt, so apprehensive, so afraid to do the wrong thing even though its second nature to them but they think twice because of the fear of being struck down by their friends. my goodness. have we become so girlish, so backstabbing????? why why why cant we just accept people for who they are. judge them objectively. lay down their qualities and think carefully. does a smoker mean that he is a bastard who likes to beat people up. does a smoker mean that he like to rape girls or women for the matter? does smoking make him a devil even though he loves young children, he protects women, he respects their body, he helps old ladies across the road when ever he sees one??does that make him a devil! think. i mean. yes we all have our own character traits that irritate the hell out of people, but we do have a good character traits. therefore why must we shun someone because of his one character trait while we do know that he is someone who is caring, concerning, always tries to help but we push him away, always tries to treat people even though sometimes we dont appreciate it. but think carefully, he really does have a good heart at mind and not always trying to be a arrogant person. we too are bastards in our own ways and im a good example. i sometimes break promises, lie to avoid my friends. so whats the difference between me and him. anyway. yeah. we really have to accept people for they are. for their actions that are second nature or instinct to them. cause we ourselves are also filled with flaws and if we continue to carry this spite or critical assessement of people, we will be more focussed on the negative side of people. how good can that be? And we will also be affected by our own critical nature because we are sometimes so stuck on this matters that we completely lose control for a moment and this will make us lose focus on the more important things at hand. OKAY. enough has been said. all from a day of walking in orchard. a day in school. a fun day with my friends. and cheers to a new year ahead when we are the seniors of the school where we must make people look up to us in awe and respect just like what i had for my seniors. Friday, October 22, 2004 Lie to meGive me something worth living for Tell me a reason worth fighting for Give me anything Anything to keep me breathing. Lie to me Tell me stories so beautiful An epic, or something so terrible That it makes me weep Cross out these days On your calendar It hurts me so much And I'm not quite sure I care anymore fug fug fug. okay. i really feel so sick now. stupid fever, stupid cold, stupid sorethroat. i guess i know why im sick today. yesterday i bathed in my uniform on.anyway. today was terok.real bad.i got back my results.wowow. i thought i would do better because i worked my butt off to prepare for this final year exam. guess things didnt turn out as i wanted. i didnt know and i never really felt so hard done by doing badly in exams. but this really struck me right between my nipples. anyway we decided to go to jacks place to eat and perhaps get some horrible numbers of our minds and the meal didnt make my throat any better but it certainly up my mood abit with queen lum and massy and with harry trying to finish the bottle of chilli. anyway. i went back home. took the stupid 32 which took so long to come. on the bus. i felt really weak, my throbbing headache left me trying to keep awake fearing i wont be able to wake up anymore like all the movies i watched "no dont close your eyes. dont give up" i managed to labour my way to the 42 bus stop and hopped on the bus. i reached home. turned on my comp. took a bath. plooped on my bed like how my shit drops into the toilet.anyway. i turned a dvd and the main actor was john travolta. anyway i watched it before but it still wasnt dry to me. anyway. about 2 hours later, the show ended and i turned it off and finally went to take a nap and i woke up about 2hours later.my headache still left me vulnerable. oh well. watched samurai X.ate my dinner, got a call.wondered why shit happens to nice people.tried to play winning eleven. but i didnt have the mood.got on my computer. the rain is pouring down. i can hear it through the music.wondering what im going to next now. i dont think all of you will bother to read to the end. boring entry. someone asked. so hows ruth. i said. good i guess. friends.doesnt matter. i realised i have been so critical. so spiteful. nothing like my true self.why why.we cant be so caught onto this hate. it will just devour us. we must make do with it. lonely. how lonely. When a man loves a woman Can't keep his mind on nothin' else He'd trade the world For a good things found Its taken much too long to get it right Would it be so wrong to maybe find someone A miracle And all you really need is everything you could never be And so you'd give it all for a miracle Is there a trace inside her face of a lonely miracle? And so you wait and lie awake for a lonely miracle You never really know what it is not until it goes And if it comes again its a miracle But what you miss is love and everything below and up above And could she bring it all a miracle? Its taken so long to get it right Could it be so wrong to maybe find someone A miracle Monday, October 18, 2004 I'm drunk off your kissFor another night in a row This is becoming too routine for me But I didn't mean to lead you on And it's all right to pretend That we still talk It's just for show, isn't it? It's my fault that it fell apart Just maybe you need this and I didn't Mean to lead you on You were everything I wanted but I just can't finish what I've started.There's no room left here on my back It was damaged long ago Though you swear that you are true I still pick my friends over you My friends over you Please tell me everything, That you think that I should know About all the plans you made When I was no where to be found. And it's all right to forget That we still talk It's just for fun, isn't it? It's my fault that it fell apart hello people, school was boring like shit and harry didnt come and i had 3 periods of chinese with my fat ugly armpit hair bristols and fat arms teacher. stupid woman. joel went to watch movie. i went to parkway with mason to eat jacks place but ended up eating cold storage roasted chicken. anyway. people do change, i guess its expected but you have to be able to contort, adjust, understand the change. Thats how you take things in your stride. not referring to you know who but to someone who was a very good best friend(XX) long time ago since dont know when, now he is still la friend, but i managed to get along even though me and XX are not as close as before. One good way was to make new friends, people like harry, zhao, louis while XX made new friends too and i respect him alot so i dont go on rambling about why he not so close to me as before. And yes i do still think about our good times, but i dont turn hostile or become melancholic. Hmm. well. new topic. when i was young, like what i always have said 'i do not have a perfect family' i do have problems. and the problems i have not many others have.i told a few of my friends. and began to think that they wont care cause they dontknow anything about it and that they are useless because they dontknow what to do. but then i realised that they do care. doesnt matter whether they dont know how to council you, but the important thing is that you have an outlet, and they will difinitely listen as a friend. i shallnt go on anymore , other people might think im crazy. but somethings i've heard are simply too much. but i really cant bother about it anymore to put it crudely. so this is the last thing i'll say about this issue.. there.What is, is. what is, is that. okay now for the laughs. 
the extreme left looks like weijie Saturday, October 16, 2004 Is there a traceinside her faceof a lonely miracle? And so you waitand lie awakefor a lonely miracle You never really knowwhat it is not until it goes And if it comes againit's a miracle But what you miss is loveand everything below and up above And could she bring it all a miracle? oh well. this few days really suck. mason lost his phone. nothing to do this few days. people are feeling depressed somehow even though we thought that the end of the exams spelt the end of all our troubles. Poor lady,she were better love a dream Disguise,i see thou art a wickedness Wherein the pregnant enemy does much How easy is it for the proper false In women's waxen earts to set their form Alas their frailty is the cause, not we. For such as they are made, if such we be. O time, thou must untangle this, Not I! It is too hard a knot for me to untie Thursday, October 14, 2004 i've fought the good fight, I have finsihed the race, I have kept the faithhello guys. exams finally over.now im suffering from post exam stress. i dont know what to do.how howhow.anyway. white chicks is a damn good show. so damn slapstick. anyway. nipples.damn boring now. just now went to town with queen lum and massy. then we decided to play soccer. then in the end, ended up playing socccer with some lousy ah nehs. dman lousy la. oh by the way. zhao yao soccer damn good.he so handsome.he so cute.so sexC.he lobang louis seh. tmr i dont know what to do. most probably be spending my time home playing cm4.anyway.somethings wrong. some build up in my libido. argh. nvm. anyway. have a fun time rafflesians, happy studying. only 2 more weeks more to study, and you have to go to school too. Sunday, October 10, 2004 
zhaoyao email is zhaozha0@hotmail.com please add him tyty Friday, October 01, 2004 So I'm running away to youI cannot escape you To feel your touch The faith you prove I'm running away to you Hearts are never made of stone Pain will cut you to the bone But I know that holding you is all so wrong So tonight's the last we'll ever be alone So I thirst for the waterI find myself wanting now hello. today was a good day except for oral which i did so badly.some stupid passage about the moon. and questions on how to kickstart creative in students and about young people who keep changin handphone.lol harry got scolded by dingni..arghh.i dont like her.so china woman with coarser armpit hair than me. gross. like some black newly cut grass. oh. then i rushed to ymca to do some work. finished a chapter of chemistry and thats about it for chem and fully understand the 2003 and 2002 a math paper. !!! the Dunman high e math paper damn hard!! the scgs paper is so easy. damn it.not fair. hope our paper is that. okay i'll tell you about my expectations about my EOYs. English- good Chinese- fail Emath- good Amath average chem- better be good physics- should fail =) lit- pass (cross fingers) hist+ss - average or pass (please) ALL IN ALL, GOD PLEASE BLESS ME WITH WISDOM AND CLARITY OF MIND AND A STRONG HAND. okay faith choobs. OHOH.i thought i lost my rubberband thingeies for my mouth. Thank God i found it, if not i'd have to waste time to make a trip to the dentist.not good huh when you want to make full use of your time.EEEEE.so many of my female teachers have yucky gooey armpit hair. oh man.anyway. people are getting stressed over EOYs but guess you really have to let the steam out and take the exams like a man and get it done with. and do your BEST balls. Mr leo left VICTORIA SCHOOL to further his studies. i wish him the best. my teacher, my coach, my friend, my brother. all the memories in soccer training. him telling me i need viagra.showing me the tricks and trades of soccer. bringing us to the semi's of the zone division. GAVE ALL OF US such a memory. i still remember the whole thing like it happen yesterday. I remember him writing on my exam script 'WELL DONE CHARLES. BUT WHY NEVER COME TRAINING' oh man. how i'll miss him. no matter how tough training was, no matter how many times we had to run around the field, no matter how many times we had to do shuttle run. it was all worth it, worth all the memories. his horny face his lame funny jokes. remember once we were at another school to play a soccer match. he looked across the fence and said 'EH that teacher pretty right?!' lol. i remember that time he said ' charles you sado-mascohist, i bet next time when you have sex sure pour hot wax on the chest' lol. damn funny. OH MAN. the trainings we had. SO FUN. Everytime when he play soccer with us, we tackle him, he will just tumble and dive to the ground and shout "OEI REF!, KAYU" or "bloody idiot". lol. or that time in old school got some small trees. then mani and david (both indians), they were like moving around the trees la. then Leo shouted "OEI not dance around the tree la. not indian movie" i'll so terribly miss him. something will be missing from school. one more good teacher gone. one more. how many more to go? Anyway. good luck for the exams guys. study hard. |
|
Charles You never know whats going to hit you About me Victoria School Friends harryKK sexsirenzhao jeshri ruth trili jafnie andrea fiona cassidy syen yuin hakeem xuanyi shirley wan emeline raj candice shirley j-wei dennis najid jiezhen Doodleboard < |
|
Reinventing Your Exit
|
|
The Beautiful Mistake |